I am such a huge bloody fucking loser i messed up my life. I am so sorry for saying that. Yes, after 5 days, i am still angry and disappointed with myself. I cant believe i am writing this emo crap because it doesn't usually go here, but even thinking about all these stuff made my heart heavy and the tap in my head on. But of course, i directed the tap to my heart and my throat. Now the lump in my throat made swallowing difficult and i feel as if a million rocks are pressed against my chest. Suffocating me.

Its just horrible.